There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
