I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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