I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
