Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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