It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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