i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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