Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
