She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
