This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
