I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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