Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
