Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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