I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
