he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize