He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
