Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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