Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
