I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
