I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
