She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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