He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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