take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
