He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
