He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
