Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
