Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
