You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Soap is not a condiment
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
