Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
