I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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