If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
