So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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