And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
