my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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