It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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