No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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