I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
