so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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