No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
