would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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