i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
