I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
