WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
