If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize