I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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