dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
