Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
