Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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