wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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