Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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