Where is the hickey?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
