this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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