I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
