just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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