that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize