I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
