jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
