I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
