Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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