Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
