do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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