For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
