Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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