i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I touched a dick in church today
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
