I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
